HomeSchooling Abbey
Sample Chapter
Sample Chapter
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A note from the author: I really wanted to post a sample chapter of Homeschooling Abbey, though it is hard to pick a favorite! I am leaving below the one I think is most telling about why we wrote the book. Others are my favorites. Enjoy! Carol |
From the moment she was born, Abbey tickled Rick and me, a surprised yet
radiant pre-menopausal couple. As she approached school age, there was nothing
about her we wished to change. We did not decide on homeschooling to create an
Albert Einstein out of a carefree, happy little girl. We didn’t homeschool due to any
religious beliefs. I didn’t do it because I fancied myself as a gifted teacher who thought I
could do better than the public schools. The whole thing unveiled itself slowly. Rick and
I could not have known going into it what a great decision we were making for Abbey
and us.
I don’t think homeschooling is for every family. But I no longer feel it is a concept to
be cordoned off for a few stay-at-home parents, geniuses, Mothers of the Decade, or
the religious right. It is a viable option for many families for whom the classroom is
creating discomfort. Parents who have jobs have homeschooled by finding other
working parents who also homeschool, and they switch off hours. Parents who were not
particularly great students have found a new lease on life by reinvestigating subjects
along with their children.
As a novelist for teenagers, I frequently speak at school assemblies, and Abbey
travels with me. Last week, we were in a principal’s office before my talk with the
students. He was a Civil War buff, with pictures of all the great abolitionists up on his
wall.
“Abbey, look! There’s William Lloyd Garrison! He published The Liberator,
remember?” We had an engaging conversation with the man about abolitionists who
lived in South Jersey and the Underground Railroad. Before homeschooling, I might
have shrugged at the portrait, too engaged in my speech and my notes to really notice.
Linked to Abbey’s, my mind also has come alive—in ways I never thought possible.
Abbey and I are in a strange place in life. We’ve wandered into Oz. Friends and
neighbors are gazing at us from across the poppy fields as if maybe we’ve taken a bad
turn. There are no one- and two-line answers I can give them to explain how we ended
at a happy place and not the witch’s door.
And I’m not one to provide half truths or do half justice to something that has
brought us so much happiness. Not my style. I speak when questions are posed to me.
Very few people ask questions. They stare but don’t ask. Their heads are obviously full
of “what does Abbey do for friends?” and “has she been tested?” and “how can you
stand all that work?”
I do understand, but these questions are ironic, because as much as I asked them
myself in the beginning, they are simply not issues at all. They were boogey men in the
closet. But how do I make people believe that? I am a writer, and what lies herein is
part memoir, part research journal, containing my little epiphanies about our journey that
parents would enjoy, whether they end up homeschooling or not. I would like to change
lives—if not a hundred thousand, then five thousand. If this work enlightens five
thousand families and encourages them to try home education, then I’m a happy writer.
I fell into homeschooling haphazardly, but maybe what I have to share would give
some parents a shortcut to a better life, whether they’ve got a gem like my Zoe or some
other type of gem. You don’t have to be rich, and you don’t have to be of any religious
ilk. As with most everything incredibly important, there is nothing to fear except fear
itself.
I hear from parents daily, just friends from the gym or church or the neighborhood
who are struggling with their children’s education. Josie’s daughter is “classified” and
Josie knows that her daughter is quite smart and able. Meg’s ten-year-old daughter,
Myra, is a gifted gymnast, but with a long school day, nightly homework, and sixteen
hours a week in the gym, the poor child is being tortured. Myra has no time to play, to
relax, and be a child during the school year. Of course her parents are considering giving
up on the child’s natural gift of gymnastics to pursue this treadmill of studying for the
test/forgetting after the test, simply because it’s always been done that way.
I’ve mentioned homeschooling to these and other parents with varying challenges
provoked by schooling. But ninety percent of the time I get stonewalled. The concept is
still pretty new, and I’ve been inarticulate. I’m a writer, not a talker.
Another gym family’s daughter was grounded for getting a “C” on her report card.
As her dad explained it, “She’s very good at understanding concepts.”
“That’s great,” I said. “What’s the problem?”
“She just doesn’t do well with memorization. She’s good in math, but history and—“
My frustration bubbled over. “She’s so intelligent! I hope she’d be bored with
memorization she’ll only forget in a few months. If you’re going to thrust a child’s mind
into a game, why not make it a good one?”
Totally stonewalled.
I told myself it was time to write the book. It seems everywhere I turn, there’s a
conversation going on about parents trying to get their kids to do homework, to not act
up in school, to get better grades. We’re so imbedded in the belief that school is our
ticket to the Avenue of Dreams, we’re missing a hundred warning signs along the way, a
hundred arrows pointing out the short cuts--as well as the lily ponds and rose gardens
and woodsy paths.
I’ve always heard parents griping about school, but having homeschooled for four
years, I’m now hearing it from a different angle. It’s not just “normal” talk. It’s painful
talk. It hurts my ears. There are other solutions, and while I don’t want to bash
schools—I have some answers, and I wanted to find the words to share them.
If you want a text that’s strictly informational about homeschooling, containing all the
options available and all the info you could digest in a year, there are many books and
web sites available for that and I’m listing my favorites at the end. I’m a writer by trade
who works primarily in stories, essays and journals. Herein is Rick’s and my life, Abbey’
s life, our thoughts, our fears, our freedoms, our answered and unanswered questions.
If I might give you, your best friend, your neighbor, your sister-in-law a dream…and
that’s the point in this. Or if you’re never planning to homeschool but want to
understand your friends and neighbors who do, herein lie the secrets.
That’s why I’m finally finding the words.
radiant pre-menopausal couple. As she approached school age, there was nothing
about her we wished to change. We did not decide on homeschooling to create an
Albert Einstein out of a carefree, happy little girl. We didn’t homeschool due to any
religious beliefs. I didn’t do it because I fancied myself as a gifted teacher who thought I
could do better than the public schools. The whole thing unveiled itself slowly. Rick and
I could not have known going into it what a great decision we were making for Abbey
and us.
I don’t think homeschooling is for every family. But I no longer feel it is a concept to
be cordoned off for a few stay-at-home parents, geniuses, Mothers of the Decade, or
the religious right. It is a viable option for many families for whom the classroom is
creating discomfort. Parents who have jobs have homeschooled by finding other
working parents who also homeschool, and they switch off hours. Parents who were not
particularly great students have found a new lease on life by reinvestigating subjects
along with their children.
As a novelist for teenagers, I frequently speak at school assemblies, and Abbey
travels with me. Last week, we were in a principal’s office before my talk with the
students. He was a Civil War buff, with pictures of all the great abolitionists up on his
wall.
“Abbey, look! There’s William Lloyd Garrison! He published The Liberator,
remember?” We had an engaging conversation with the man about abolitionists who
lived in South Jersey and the Underground Railroad. Before homeschooling, I might
have shrugged at the portrait, too engaged in my speech and my notes to really notice.
Linked to Abbey’s, my mind also has come alive—in ways I never thought possible.
Abbey and I are in a strange place in life. We’ve wandered into Oz. Friends and
neighbors are gazing at us from across the poppy fields as if maybe we’ve taken a bad
turn. There are no one- and two-line answers I can give them to explain how we ended
at a happy place and not the witch’s door.
And I’m not one to provide half truths or do half justice to something that has
brought us so much happiness. Not my style. I speak when questions are posed to me.
Very few people ask questions. They stare but don’t ask. Their heads are obviously full
of “what does Abbey do for friends?” and “has she been tested?” and “how can you
stand all that work?”
I do understand, but these questions are ironic, because as much as I asked them
myself in the beginning, they are simply not issues at all. They were boogey men in the
closet. But how do I make people believe that? I am a writer, and what lies herein is
part memoir, part research journal, containing my little epiphanies about our journey that
parents would enjoy, whether they end up homeschooling or not. I would like to change
lives—if not a hundred thousand, then five thousand. If this work enlightens five
thousand families and encourages them to try home education, then I’m a happy writer.
I fell into homeschooling haphazardly, but maybe what I have to share would give
some parents a shortcut to a better life, whether they’ve got a gem like my Zoe or some
other type of gem. You don’t have to be rich, and you don’t have to be of any religious
ilk. As with most everything incredibly important, there is nothing to fear except fear
itself.
I hear from parents daily, just friends from the gym or church or the neighborhood
who are struggling with their children’s education. Josie’s daughter is “classified” and
Josie knows that her daughter is quite smart and able. Meg’s ten-year-old daughter,
Myra, is a gifted gymnast, but with a long school day, nightly homework, and sixteen
hours a week in the gym, the poor child is being tortured. Myra has no time to play, to
relax, and be a child during the school year. Of course her parents are considering giving
up on the child’s natural gift of gymnastics to pursue this treadmill of studying for the
test/forgetting after the test, simply because it’s always been done that way.
I’ve mentioned homeschooling to these and other parents with varying challenges
provoked by schooling. But ninety percent of the time I get stonewalled. The concept is
still pretty new, and I’ve been inarticulate. I’m a writer, not a talker.
Another gym family’s daughter was grounded for getting a “C” on her report card.
As her dad explained it, “She’s very good at understanding concepts.”
“That’s great,” I said. “What’s the problem?”
“She just doesn’t do well with memorization. She’s good in math, but history and—“
My frustration bubbled over. “She’s so intelligent! I hope she’d be bored with
memorization she’ll only forget in a few months. If you’re going to thrust a child’s mind
into a game, why not make it a good one?”
Totally stonewalled.
I told myself it was time to write the book. It seems everywhere I turn, there’s a
conversation going on about parents trying to get their kids to do homework, to not act
up in school, to get better grades. We’re so imbedded in the belief that school is our
ticket to the Avenue of Dreams, we’re missing a hundred warning signs along the way, a
hundred arrows pointing out the short cuts--as well as the lily ponds and rose gardens
and woodsy paths.
I’ve always heard parents griping about school, but having homeschooled for four
years, I’m now hearing it from a different angle. It’s not just “normal” talk. It’s painful
talk. It hurts my ears. There are other solutions, and while I don’t want to bash
schools—I have some answers, and I wanted to find the words to share them.
If you want a text that’s strictly informational about homeschooling, containing all the
options available and all the info you could digest in a year, there are many books and
web sites available for that and I’m listing my favorites at the end. I’m a writer by trade
who works primarily in stories, essays and journals. Herein is Rick’s and my life, Abbey’
s life, our thoughts, our fears, our freedoms, our answered and unanswered questions.
If I might give you, your best friend, your neighbor, your sister-in-law a dream…and
that’s the point in this. Or if you’re never planning to homeschool but want to
understand your friends and neighbors who do, herein lie the secrets.
That’s why I’m finally finding the words.
| Excerpt from Chapter Two: Why this Book |